Logan made a quiet ‘shh’ noise as he held the boy against his chest now that they’d found his bed. He understood the worried words, asking for reassurance. He kissed the top of his head gently. “I promise, Nick. You’re the only one for me. I’d never ant anyone in my life the same way I want you. I wish I could prove it to you every day, but you’re so far away,” he whispered, running his hands through those thick curls. He was already feeling a bit of hatred towards fate, or god, or whoever controlled their lives, just because he knew that this might be the only night for a long time that he got to hold Nick close to him. And because Nick was upset.
He lifted Nick’s chin gently so that the boy was looking at him. “I love you, Nick,” he said, leaning down to gently catch the other’s lips against his. Sweet, warm lips, like none he’d kissed before. To be honest he’d prefer Nick’s be the only lips he kissed again, if he could simply refuse to kiss people on screen and reserve his lips for Nick only. He’d reserve all of himself for Nick only. As he pulled away he nuzzled against Nick’s neck. “It’s only you,” he said, kissing his neck gently. He moved to just behind Nick’s ear, kissing there as well and whispering, “It’s only you,” again. Logan pressed his lips to his forehead next before tucking Nick’s head under his chin and saying, “I swear to everything, it’s only you.”
Logan found one of Nick’s hands, holding it tightly in his. “I miss you all the time, but I would never replace you, ever. I would hate myself if I did. I wouldn’t be able to wake up in the morning if I did something as horrible as that. Whenever you’re worried, or you doubt that, call me, I’ll answer even if it’s in the middle of shooting,” he said.
The younger boy could all but nod, pressing his lips in a hard line to keep from crying again. Why was he freaking out this way? It was some sort of sensory overload, the relief came too quickly after he’d been so upset and now he was just exhausted. Nick let himself fold into Logan’s touch, kissing him back instinctively on all of the right cues. Blindly, Nick groped at Logan’s clothes, holding onto him with all he had. And he believed every word he was saying, the tears slowly ceasing and his breathing slowing to a quiet lull. “I love you,” Nick said plainly, and he felt like he couldn’t justify how he felt with that one statement. They’d been over this so many times, yet it always came back to the same thing. Nick wondered if he’d ever get used to the distance, to keeping it a secret. It was hard, being so torn up and not being able to explain to your family why you don’t call, or text for plans, why you go in the studio, get your work done, and head straight back home.
”I love you, I do. I want to be strong like you are,” Nick mumbled, finally wiping his eyes entirely dry. “I.. I don’t know, I just. I don’t want you to be my secret,” He whispered, more to the room than to just Logan, like the world was crowded in his bedroom and he was finally getting it off his chest. Nick sat up slowly, his hand wound tightly around Logan’s. “I’m going to tell Joe.” The statement hung between them before Nick was turning, his hands each finding a spot on either side of Logan’s head to brace himself above the boy. “I have to tell Joseph, it’s not fair to you.” Bowing his head, Nick kissed Logan gently, breath catching in his chest at how much better he felt. “I’m going to tell him, baby, and I’m going to stay with him for a bit, so I can see you.” The curly haired Jonas finally quieted himself, lips molding softly to his boyfriend’s.
Bringing a leg over the other side of the body beneath, Nick straddled Logan, his kisses becoming more firm, yet still sweet, needy. He brought his hands up to cradle Logan’s face, his lips working back along his jaw, and down his neck, taking time to kiss every spot he could. Nick let his fingers ghost up under Logan’s shirt, plucking it off and tossing it to the floor. And it wasn’t lust, it wasn’t overtly sexual. Nick just needed to have him, needed him right then and there and had to make sure the boy wouldn’t disappear from under him. It was five in the morning, how could he be sure he wasn’t asleep? His kiss found it’s way to the Big Time Rush singer’s shoulder and Nick sat back, fingers tangling in the other’s hand as he left sweet pecks down his arm, in the crook of his elbow, over the tender skin of his wrist. Nick folded Logan’s arm against his chest, leaving their hands entwined as he let it rest over his heart. And he just kept kissing him, everywhere, anywhere, muttering sweet nothings against his warm skin. “I’m going to stay for a bit.”